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Who Did What Blurb
This whole monstruousity was originally conveived February through March 2001 by the members of The Big Note - a Frank Zappa YahooGroup. After an arduous gestation period, this site was birthed on April 11 2001. True to the essence of collaborative effort, these people are held responsible.
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It Must Be A Camel & There's A Bathroom On The Right
Two older ladies were swimming in the pool at a Miami hotel. One of the ladies was about to get out of the pool and the first lady asked if she would bring her a cigarette when she came back. "That's no problem, dear." And pulling a condom from her halter, untied the knot and revealed several cigarettes and some matches. "That's clever. What do you call it?"
Hidy-ho, I thought this joke might go over well with this group:
A particular message I sent earlier does not exist. For that reason I did not send it and it cannot be read. I am not saying any of this. I don't even exist. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
I'm listening to Camarillo as I'm typing this. A thought struck my mind (no need to alert the media though): In the beginning, when Zappa sang "she had grey-green skin", I mistook that for "she had gravy skin". So, I'm wondering if any of you initially misunderstood any FZ-lyrics, to discover only later that your imagination had taken over?
The problem with FZ is the real text is usually weirder than the mistaken text. In Titties-n-Beer, I thought he MIGHT have been saying "He had a red suit on, and a little beak, a little pointed tail and like a soaper eek". I knew that wasn't right. Luckily for us, FZ was diligent about providing the lyrics to almost all of his albums. Or is it ALL of them? Without the text, I have little chance of catching all the words. They usually turn into melodic, if somewhat rickety and off-key mumblings.
On Cosmik Debris, I thought the lyric was "no cure for asthma" instead of "look here, brother," probably due to the earlier mention that "it'll cure your asthma, too."
The Ikettes on Montana threw me for the longest time. It wasn't until Poodle Play that I cleared a lot of that up... The lyrics were not available with the US release of Apostrophe (').
What part is that?
At the remote possibility you're NOT joking: "I'm riding my tiny horse; his name is mighty little, he's a good horse."
Well, if you would have said the female chorus part, I would have known what you meant. Why "Ikettes"? It's not Ike on helium, is it? I always thought it was a group of unfortunate gospel singers...
The "female chorus part" was done by Tina Turner and her two back-up singers - known collectively as the Ikettes. FZ was recording the album at Ike Turner's studio. He was amazed when he found out he could hire them for scale. I think the girls were paid $25 each for their contribution to the record.
I thought it was "beans"! No kidding!
I read somewhere that Ike Turner was the one who insisted that Frank only pay the Ikettes $25 for the session. He didn't want Frank to pay any more than Ike 'hisself' paid, and possibly cause a RIOT... Also, the story I read talks about how the "I'm plucking the old dental floss..." chorus took LOTS of takes... finally, one of the women 'hit it perfectly' and was able to 'get' EXACTLY what FZ was looking for... It really is a pretty amazing lyric, with more amazing music.
OK, but what's the deal with this really small font? (or is it just me?)
*OK, but what's the deal with this really small font? (or is it just me?)*
Hats off to the chap who commented on the small fonts. It is such a bother to strain one's eyes to read the teeny type. Can't someone invent some sort of device that would grant us older....more seasoned.... citizens the ability to see small items more clearly? Ideally such a device would rest on one's nose and have two horizontal magnifying glass lenses for each eye. It could be held in place with a strap attached to a hat....or some sort of duct tape. The fellow who sorts this seeing eye problem out will surely garner the thanks of thousands, and maybe even pocket a bit of extra dosh as well. I hope some of you young people will discuss this matter with some of your more scientifically-minded friends. The solution is out there. I'd help you look for it, myself, but I have a hard time seeing.....
More Amusing Musings?