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This whole monstruousity was originally conveived February through March 2001 by the members of The Big Note - a Frank Zappa YahooGroup. After an arduous gestation period, this site was birthed on April 11 2001. True to the essence of collaborative effort, these people are held responsible.

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© TheBigNote 2001-2004
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A Cabbage Is A Vegetable...

Friends
The subject of tomatoes came up at work today - as we were discussing allergies. I'd said that my skin is allergic to the "tasty vegetable" and my coworker replied that the tomato is not a vegetable. Of course I had to disagree.
After all, did we not just welcome a tomato into our midst, and did we not talk about vegetables in the process? So my coworker decided to ask Jeeves and see what he had to say. (I don't trust that tuxedoed pansy myself, but we thought it was worth a try.)
The Question: Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?
Jeeves' Answer: It depends on who you ask, a botantist (Jeeve's spelling) or horticulturist.

For all practical purposes I say It's a fruit. It's legal and technical mumbo-jumbo that claims it to be a vegetable. Botanically speaking, the tomato is a fruit and is classified as a berry. It is a fruit because it is a ripened mature ovary containing seed. One can confirm this by looking up both "fruit" and "tomato" in a dictionary. No not the definition of old slang that says a "tomato" is an attractive woman. Things like peppers, eggplants and cucumbers are also fruits by this definition.
Horticulturally speaking it is defined as a vegetable for two other reasons: 1- it is a nonwoody annual (sounds like SOFA) 2- it was classified this way in 1893 by the Supreme Court for trade reasons - imposing import taxes to protect growers.
So there you have it. It's a vegetable because the US Supreme Court says it is. Or is it...? (Insert Loud Minor Chord Here)
Food for vegetarian thought,
Uncle Herman

WELL
IF THE SUPREME COURT SAYS IT IS THEN IT IS, THEY SAID GEORGE W WAS PRESIDENT AND HE IS SO THEY MUST HAVE FINAL SAY IN EVERYTHING. MAYBE INSTEAD OF ASKING JEEVES THEY SHOULD START A WEB SITE TITLED "ASK THE SUPREME COURT (THEIR ANSWER IS FINAL!!!)"
BALD HEADED JOHN

Didn't his Pappy say Ketchup is a vegetable?
Effzee

No, that was Raygun, but I fail to see a difference
TGW

1- it is a nonwoody annual (sounds like SOFA) I beg your pardon; I get a woody at least TWICE a year...
SOFA

On "Wer wird Millonaire?" they had the following Q.
One of these is NOT a berry:
Cucumber
Strawberry
Banana
Raspberry
Any guesses?
effzee

STRAWBERRY, SOMETHING TO DO WITH SEEDS ON THE OUTSIDE.
BHJ

Right answer, wrong reason... Guess what a Strawberry is classified as?
effzee

A MEAT?
BHJ

Someone give this man a Bingo! (or is it just a Bing!)
effzee

Now you've done it, SOFA. You've convinced everyone that the "Funky" is a "Bingo."
F-U-N-K-Y, F-U-N-K-Y, F-U-N-K-Y
The Funky is its name-o!
Poodle

SEE I'M NOT AS DUMB AS I LOOK AM I? SO WHAT IS THE REASON?
BHJ

Oh sure! Blame the fat, floating, maroon guy!
Okay, here's what we do. In conjunction with my campaign to make the word fuck socially acceptable by inserting love in its place (and, often, vice versa), from this point on I shall holler "smegma" instead of Bingo. That should clear all this up.
Try it uncleherman; it might clear you up...
SOFA

For the uninformed, here are some links to critical information regarding "smegma."
www.cirp.org/library/normal/wright1, www.foreskin.org/smegma.htm,
www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/2099/vatosmeg.html
poodle

Frank Zappa


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