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This whole monstruousity was originally conveived February through March 2001 by the members of The Big Note - a Frank Zappa YahooGroup. After an arduous gestation period, this site was birthed on April 11 2001. True to the essence of collaborative effort, these people are held responsible.

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Prelude Part II

Lumpy Gravy Pt. Two: Still Early After All These Years

Yo! Jack Bivouac here. I had planned to space these out a bit more, but I just had to share this one with you. I feel it is SOFA's best first contact; but that just may be the dirty old man in me. Now, don't get me wrong; the Lumpy Gravy that developed from these early attempts is a fine way to get to know someone. But like my Pappy used to say, "There aint nothing like a little innuendo to get the party started."

::: First attempted contact
Hello, I'm SOFA. I'm 41yrs old, 6' 2" long, a married, burgundy, double-knit male; and I am in search of some no-strings-attached flooring.
If this appeals to you, please consider the following: What was "Uncle Meat's" real name? Would love to make your acquaintance...
SOFA

::: Second attempted contact
Maybe I was too cryptic in my last message. If so, I apologize. Or, maybe you're no longer interested in joining a group of Zappa freaks? I hope this is not the case. Maybe the initiation question is too tough? If that's the case, don't worry. I have many more that are just as tough...
Hello?
Operator, am I hung up?
Hello?

::: Third attempted contact
Let's try this one more time. Are you interested in joining the Zappa ICQ group...
This is my last contact without a response.
SOFA

I thought the lonely-hearts angle was a good one. Maybe she didn't care for maroon?
SOFA took that obvious rejection with a grain of salt. He knew there were bigger yellowsharks in the sea.

This next one was successful, though the gentlemen never went back to apply his Gravy for membership. That seems a shame, after the thought he put in to his answer. Maybe he'll read this someday, and try again...
Heh-heh-heh-heh. Good luck, Pal.

SOFA writes
Here's the latest. I smell a new member brewing - it's quite pleasant; with a malty sweetness, a strong breath of hops, and just a hint of coriander:

::: First attempted contact
Cesare, Are you interested in joining an active Frank Zappa ICQ Interest Group?
Please respond.
SOFA

::: First response
sure am...

::: Second contact
Great! Allow me to introduce myself; my name is SOFA, but you can call me SOFA. I am a member of The Big Note (TBN) - an ICQ interest group dedicated to all things Frank. Our groupmaster, Poodle, asked if I could help him contact some of the many who have visited the site - or other Zappa ICQ sites - and screen prospective new members. The screening is simple. Please respond to the following: What is your favorite FZ recording and why is it the greatest recording ever made?
This is not a "pressure" situation; please answer honestly.
I look forward to hearing back from you. Have a great day!
SOFA

::: Second response
My all time favourite is "Sheik Yerbouti", the favourite piece is "City of tiny lights"; why? It was the very first album I liked, I like it because it's live (even though it has got lots of overdubbing) and the drumming is out of this world (I play drum, a bit...). Follow up: Joe's Garage, Tinseltown Rebellion, One Size Fits All, Roxy & Elsewhere and Live in New York

::: Third contact
Very nice response, Cesare! Sheik Yerbouti is one of my favorites too - though I would have to say that "Yo Mama" is probably my favorite song. Your response has assured me of two things: you know Zappa and you can communicate well in English.
I will recommend to Poodle that you be granted a membership in TBN (The Big Note). What you need to do next is go to TBN and request to join. The address is: http://groups.icq.com/group.asp?no=530313
Click on the "join" icon, and follow the directions. While you're there, check out the messageboard to see what we're doing... Oh, and you may want to try to think up an appropriate Zappa type nickname - a zappnick is what we call it.
Welcome aboard! If I can answer any questions for you while you're waiting for authorization, just ask. I hope to have a group chat in a couple of weeks to welcome new members, and give everyone a chance to get to know one another.
Later Dude,
SOFA

A very nice contact. Which leads me to ask a question: Do you attract more bees with honey or with wise-ass? I've been telling this to SOFA for a couple of weeks now. I think he's beginning to realize that he needs to ask the questions straight, and quit acting the fool. (Of course, we know that he does, don't we?)
Seeya next time,
Jack Bivouac

Frank Zappa


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