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This whole monstruousity was originally conveived February through March 2001 by the members of The Big Note - a Frank Zappa YahooGroup. After an arduous gestation period, this site was birthed on April 11 2001. True to the essence of collaborative effort, these people are held responsible.

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© TheBigNote 2001-2004
unless specified otherwise.
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(Almost) Full Blown

Howdy Friends, Jack Bivouac here.
I know many of you are saying to yourselves right now, "Jack - is that all there is to joining The Big Note? You only need to answer those three simple questions?" Yes Friends, that's all there is to it - just answer those three simple questions…
"But Jack", you stammer, "Why make it so ANYONE can join such an elite group as The Big Note?" Well Friends, not every applicant makes it in. For one thing, not everyone answers SOFA's call. I know that's hard to believe, but it's true. And second, not all responses suit the membership's taste - so not every application is accepted. The questions are simple because The Big Note doesn't want to exclude anyone. But, a "thoughtless" answer is a sure way NOT to be accepted, as a couple of the following applications show.

Attention fellow TBNers: I have received the following Lumpy Gravy from potential member Alex - aka Pony.
I recommend him for inclusion in TBN's eGroup. Members have 48 hrs from receipt of this post to voice any veto.

*First of all, describe your depth of Zappa appreciation: Zijagh (Zappa is just a goddam hobby), or Ziawol (Zappa is a way of life)?*
Not knowing how serious the lifers may be, I think I'll just call myself a hobbyist. I'm not a musician; I just drum my fingers really well. The rhythms are my main attraction to Zappa's music.
*Next: please state what your favorite FZ recording is, and why you feel it is the best music ever set to wax.*
If I had to choose only one, it would be the CD release of Zappa in New York. Second might be The Grand Wazoo.
*And finally: chose an appropriate zappnick for yourself.*
If no one has claimed PONY yet, then I'll take it.

Any objection to Pony's inclusion? Remember: what Poodle joins together, let no Phoebe Snow fan tear asunder...

No objection here, but I do recall a certain Lumpy Gravy lyric: "I hear you've been having trouble with pigs and ponies? That's the basis of all their nationalism, when they can't salute the smoke... "

This is a concern only if we have more than one Pony. We need to be vigilant for other Pony pretenders...

It may even be that the trouble develops only when BOTH pigs and ponies are present. If that's the case, we can bring in all the ponies we like, but keep those damn PIGS out!

I can't believe someone with your pedigree would make a speciesist comment like that...

Greetings, all (tosses free packs of floss all around)!
Glad to join you. I'll spend some time going through the messages, and getting acquainted with the people here.

Welcome to THE BIG NOTE, Pony! Your floss is our gain! ;-)

Dear Fred, I am the membership chancellor for The Big Note…


Hi Friends.
I'm back from vacation. It was fun, but I've had enough camping in the last month to last me a while…
Back to business. I received the following Lumpy Gravy from Jim, aka Texboy77. I thought his response was rather succinct - not very informative. But, he may be a man of few words...

*First of all, describe your depth of Zappa appreciation: Zijagh (Zappa is just a goddam hobby), or Ziawol (Zappa is a way of life)?*
Ziawol. To me zappa is a way of life.
*Next: please state what your favorite FZ recording is, and why you feel it is the best music ever set to wax.*
Don't Eat The Yellow Snow. Because, if you do, you will get a stomach ache and you might get the shits
*And finally: chose an appropriate zappnick for yourself.*
Texboy77 is it.

Usually, if someone responds intelligibly to the Lumpy Gravy, I recommend their inclusion in TBN; I figure that interest in FZ is enough to warrant inclusion. However, this response leaves me cold. He says Ziawol, yet the best FZ committed to wax is Yellow Snow??? And, I'm sure that very little thought could conjure a better zappnick... I do not recommend inclusion based on this Lumpy Gravy. I do not recommend exclusion based on it either. I respectfully abstain from this one, and request some input from the group. Thoughts? Please post; it's YOUR group.

I don't know, maybe ask for a bit more? It doesn't leave me salivating to hear more from him....
I vote no, as much as I hate to.

Will the eating please come to Mordor! Sorry, never mind... That's a Tolkien reference. Wrong venue...again, sorry.
Regarding recent applicants to TBN: even using a chicken, I don't think they all measure up.
Pony: It's been way long enough for someone to voice an objection and no one has. In fact, there have actually been supportive messages, so Pony is in.
"Fred": Fred's response to SOFA's Lumpy Gravy was no response. This is a Zappa group, not a Zen group. I say Fred stays out.
Texboy77: SOFA had a bad feeling on this one, but wanted to withhold his judgement. Stinkfoot voted "no," and technically only one "no" vote is required to turn an applicant down. Besides, I had pretty much the same feelings myself, so Texboy77 is out as well.
Get ready to say hello to Pony! (A nice nick with at least two major Zappa references.) I'd say congratulations, but he won't get this message, as I won't be pushing the appropriate "buttons" until after I send this e-mail. At least we've learned that there CAN be a wrong response to a Lumpy Gravy. It's not easy to screw it up, but it can be done. Well, that's about it for these proceedings. Everyone please feel free to go on home and watch TV in your underwear.

Awww, I gotta put on underwear???

What is underwear? Sounds smelly…
Phydeaux III

Frank Zappa

More Lumpy Gravy?