Guac This Way

(Music time again, kids, turn to your Aerosmith…or Run DMC)

Green chili-head, his salad always only lettuce
Till he talked to his grocer who say;
"Well this morning I got a
Lovely case of avocado
And you're sure to be a changin your ways."
He went to the dealer, got a vegetable peeler
And he learned a little flick of the wrist.
Got a lesson in life
When he picked up the knife
And it started with a big, round pit -
Like this!
(Okay, everybody airguitar! Go 'head, rock out…)
Started on the choppin' with his fingers kinda boppin'
Garlic vapor rising up in the air.
Yeah the onion got diced, the tomato looked nice
With a bit of Jalapeño in there.
So he thought he had a winner at the "Hotluck" dinner
With an entry that was ready to burn.
But as soon as it was tasted,
We agreed his time was wasted
And he still had a lot to learn
I told him to
     Guac this way, guac this way.
     Guac this way, guac this way.
     Just gimme some chips! -
     Like this!
(Yeah, yer doin' it! Now give the pooch face; yeah, that's it)
I said you're probably gonna wanna
get yourself some good serrano,
Or some Arbol hangin off o' the tree. I said it might seem silly,
But I saw your Super Chile
And I noticed it was pointin at me!
I had a next-door neighbor
With a sauce that had some flavor,
But there was something it was seeming to miss;
So I took a little scratch
From the habanero patch
And I gave it just a little twist -
Like this!
Well the sucker had a winner at the next hot dinner;
All the sweaty people lined up to say. They all knew he wasn't foolin
And he left the judges drooling
'Cause I told him how to Guac This Way. I told him to
     Guac this way, guac this way.
     Guac this way, guac this way.
     Just gimme some chips! -
     Like this!