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This whole monstruousity was originally conveived February through March 2001 by the members of The Big Note - a Frank Zappa YahooGroup. After an arduous gestation period, this site was birthed on April 11 2001. True to the essence of collaborative effort, these people are held responsible.

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© TheBigNote 2001-2004
unless specified otherwise.
Speed will turn you into your parents.

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Dog Haikus

Reprinted with permission from the folks at www.yuckles.com

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.
          I love my master;
          Thus I perfume myself with
          This long-dead squirrel.
                    I lie belly-up
                    In the sunshine, happier than
                    You ever will be…
                              Today I sniffed
                              Many dog butts - I celebrate
                              By kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Paperboy - come to kill us all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
          I sound the alarm!
          Mailman Fiend - come to kill us all -
          Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
                    I sound the alarm!
                    Meter reader - come to kill us all -
                    Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
                              I sound the alarm!
                              Garbage man - come to kill us all -
                              Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
                    I sound the alarm!
                    Neighbor's cat - come to kill us all!
                    Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
                              I lift my leg and
                              Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
                              Sniff this and weep.
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
          I hate my choke chain -
          Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
          Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
                    Sleeping here, my chin
                    On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
                    Maybe catching cats…
                              Look in my eyes and
                              Deny it. No human could
                              Love you as much I do.
The cat is not all
Bad. She fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.
          Dig under fence - why?
          Because it's there. Because it's
          There. Because it's there.
                    I am your best friend,
                    Now, always, and especially
                    When you are eating.
                              You may call them fleas,
                              But they are far more - I call
                              Them a vocation
My owners' mood is
Romantic - I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.

Frank Zappa


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