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This whole monstruousity was originally conveived February through March 2001 by the members of The Big Note - a Frank Zappa YahooGroup. After an arduous gestation period, this site was birthed on April 11 2001. True to the essence of collaborative effort, these people are held responsible.

All content:
© TheBigNote 2001-2004
unless specified otherwise.
Speed will turn you into your parents.


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The Fabric Of Our Brain Pt. Two

Maria, can I please get the number of those little venture capitalist pals of yours? Do you remember which Pokemon characters they liked the best?
Glands of Destiny: The Look...The Feel...Of Cotton...The Fabric of Our Brains.


I know we're not supposed to plug or denigrate specific commercial products on this news list, but I do have a bit of a product warning--especially for bookdealers who operate in meatspace, and are thus dealing with the general public on a regular basis.
Do not...I repeat...DO NOT brush your teeth with Anusol Toothpaste.
It leaves a funny taste in your mouth. It numbs the gums. And it does a lousy job of cleaning your teeth.
Three strikes and you're out, buddy!
As soon as I use the rest of the tube up, I'm going back to Crest.


With the incessant barrage of complaints being leveled in the papers these days about bookdealers and their fat profits, I'd like to toss up a challenge back toward retailers and manufacturers in a different industry.
One size does NOT fit all. We men come in different sizes and shapes. Our pants should be made with differing waist and inseam sizes.
Sorry...but I'm FED UP!
Does anyone on this list have any recommendations for books about pants, or pants complaints? I'd prefer something illustrated, but I'll settle for anything in the least bit provocative.
Any information would be greatly appreciated.
Glands of Destiny: Specializing in Books on Sartorial Splendor.


I'm a 44-year-old bookstore owner. I've had my store for 20 years and have NEVER experienced one of these so-called "coincidences." Neither has my identical twin brother, who also has 3 kids and who also owns a bookstore, which is identical to mine, in a city that begins with the letter S.
Coincidences... Don't talk to my brother or me about them.
Neither one of us can be bothered with such nonsense.
Glands of Destiny: ynitseD fo sdnalG


I don't know if it was because of the abnormally engorged full moon, but I had the most amazing dream last night. Does anyone know of any books dealing with the subject of the moon's impact on our dreams?
Last night, I dreamt I was married to buxom Hollywood starlet, Pamela Anderson- Lee, (the blonde woman who formerly played a heroic lifeguard on the television hit series: "Baywatch").
Anyway, the dream was absolutely...utterly...fantastic. Then, when I woke up, I was delighted to discover that my dream was TRUE!
Tommy Lee
Glands of Destiny: Your personal lifeguards in oft-times dangerous seas of on-line bookdealing.


Perhaps there should also be a page for infrequently asked questions.
Glands of Destiny: Where the only question that is stupid is the question that YOU asked.


Although many of history's greatest writers have been drug addicts, the war on drugs continues unabated. It's a war that never seems to be won. Every time the U.S. Customs department makes a big seizure, they make a good deal of noise about it, and the bust gets massive media coverage. Yet, customs officials (or Janet Reno) are always there to sternly warn the public, "For every one pound of dope that gets confiscated, another 10 pounds enters the country."
Here is a way we can end this costly drug war. Let's gradually decrease the amount of drugs confiscated at borders. If we did on a sliding scale...until the amount of drugs confiscated was nothing, then ten times zero is zero. Drug problem solved. Then we can kick back and relax. Maybe even write a book about it.
Glands of Destiny: We'll Leave the Light on For You...


Question - What is the major difference between radio and television?
Answer - On radio the picture was clearer.

Perhaps Mr. Lyons hasn't seen the new "high-definition" televisions. Once he does, he'll sing a different tune.
Gentleman Jim wrote about a cowboy using his hat to determine the size of his wife's bra.
What GJ may not know is that in many developing countries around the world, the impoverished parents of Siamese Twins are often forced to use padded-underwire brassieres as bicycle safety helmets for their child(ren).
Joslin Hall wrote of a more free-wheelin' booksite:
I tried checking it out. I made it to the site, but was greeted by a blank page. Anyone know what I did wrong?
Finally: Has everyone noticed the rash of ads in the newspapers for cutting your bookshops' heating bills in half this winter? I can't help but think that these advertisers (mostly furnace-builders, along with various oil, gas, and electric companies, I've noted) must think we bookshop folk are stupid. After all, the simplest, and least costly, way to cut heating bills in half is with a pair of ordinary household scissors. Even my two year old knows that!
Glands of Destiny: Does anyone have $250,000 I can borrow?


The sheets sure are cold when you first get in.
Glands of Destiny: Everyone is so nice right now, but tomorrow I wonder if they'll even remember my name....


I've learned that there are some people who consistently ignore the purpose of the forum, and express their ideas about life and the world at large. Some seem to have no respect for books or other people. I recognize their names on the messages, and delete them without reading them.
I'm fairly new to this list. I was wondering if the writer of the above note would care to share the names of people who ignore the purpose of the list and express their ideas about life and the world at large, so I may be on the look-out, as well.
Thanks for your time,
Glands of Destiny: Ever watchful for those who may deviate

I'm too busy to trim my toe nails. You should see them. They make Howard Hughes' nails look chic by comparison.
Hell, I'm so busy I can't even take time to use the potty. I use one of those astronaut bags.
Hell, I'm so busy I can't even finish this sentence...
Hell, I'm busier than a tongue-less lesbian at an all-night nudist yodeling contest!
Glands of Destiny: Specializing in books with words and/or pictures....

Frank Zappa

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