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This whole monstruousity was originally conveived February through March 2001 by the members of The Big Note - a Frank Zappa YahooGroup. After an arduous gestation period, this site was birthed on April 11 2001. True to the essence of collaborative effort, these people are held responsible.

All content:
© TheBigNote 2001-2004
unless specified otherwise.
Speed will turn you into your parents.


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Someone asked me why I watched "Suddenly Susan."
Serendipity brought me to the show. Initially I thought it was a made-for-TV version of the John Bobbitt Story. Only when the show was well into its second season, did I glean on to the fact that it was A: a comedy and B: had nothing to do with JB.
I've always admired Brooke Shields, and I'm the proud owner of a first edition copy of her landmark 1985 work: "On Your Own." (New York: Vuillard, 220 pp.)
My favorite section of the book begins on page 165: "Turning Off the Sexual Pressure... How to Say No when He's Saying Yes."
In the pages that follow Ms. Shields is ostensibly offering tips for girls who don't want to have sex--but her advice could apply just as well to bookdealers who are confronted with a customer who is requesting a discount that you don't feel comfortable giving. I value Brooke's advice so highly I have had a printed sign made up of the tips. The sign now hangs next to my cyber-cash register.
1. "The first thing to remember is that you don't owe anyone anything"
[especially another bookdealer who is going to triple your asking price tomorrow].
2. "Always ask yourself what you want and what you think is best for you. Be honest about your own needs and desires. Don't let low self-esteem make you discount the importance of your feelings"
[or books!].
3. "If you feel uncomfortable about something that you're about to do, chances are good that you're not ready for whatever it is that's about to happen"
[especially when the discount is for a book you know is under priced already!].
4. "Be firm about your decision. If you give in to something for which you're not ready, you'll have to deal with the emotional consequences later. And maybe more"
[maybe even bigger discounts to the same creep!].
5. "Any boyfriend who demands sex from you before you are ready is not the right boyfriend for you. And don't let him trick you by making you feel guilty or weird because you're not willing to go along with him."
[Remember, nobody can MAKE you feel weird. That is something you have to learn on your own!]
6. "If the situation gets out of control and you can't cope, remember that you can always leave. He won't hate you. You'll probably gain his respect. "
[However, you'll probably lose the sale.]
Thank you, Brooke.


Anyone catch the profile of the late Patricia Highsmith in the New Yorker this week?
Good read. There is reference made to an idea Highsmith had of once having Ripley smuggle 50 pounds of opium in a cadaver. Does anyone know if this book or story was ever written? If so, can you e-mail me the title. I'd like to read it. Also, does anyone know if it is possible to buy either cadavers or 50 lbs. of opium legally anywhere on Earth? If so, what are the going rates?
Not for me.
I have a friend who is a friend of John Bobbit's and he's been trying to think up something good to surprise John with this coming Christmas. He seems to think John would be equally happy with either 50 lbs. of Opium or a reasonably-sized penis.
Glands of Destiny


One more thing that pertains to this forum, specifically, but to life in general, as well.
Lately, as I've grown older, I've started to have slight worries in the back of my mind about "life passing me by." Last night it occurred to me that there is a way to get more out of life--without spending any money at all!
We all blink. Several times a minute. We need to, in order to keep our eyeballs moist. But every time we blink, we are in effect--shutting out the world for a tenth of a second or so. This doesn't sound like much, until you add up all the hours and hours and hours of life that have passed you by in your disembodied-blink-state. Sad isn't it? You were there, but...not there...
"Duh-uh...Gee...officer...I.... Must...have.... blinked. I didn't get a good look!"
Here's what I'm doing to become more in the moment and less tuned-out in blinkland. I'm practicing the art of alternate eye blinks. Like a wink, but it is a conscious blink with one eye.
Try it. Don't let another second pass you by.
Who loves ya?
Telly Savalas....that's who!
Glands of Destiny: Where One Eye Is ALWAYS Open...mmmm...indeed...


I don't know if anyone else noticed this, but about two months ago, or so, the New Yorker magazine (I think it's published in New York City) started running cartoons. No doubt this must have offended some of the more stodgy subscribers, but I, for one, think that it was a good move on the publisher's part.
One cartoon, in particular, in last week's issue, caught my eye. It showed two very similar looking men standing face to face. Both were slightly nerdy. One was fatter and balder. The fatter and balder one says to the other, "Greetings, I come from the future."
I laughed at that. Imagine the cheek of that cartoonist to imply that men get fatter and balder as they age!
Where do these guys come up with these concepts? It's bizarre!
The New Yorker has also started reviewing books, which is the primary reason for me mentioning this.
Glands of Destiny: Your Source for Smokey Flavors and Hot Publishing Gossip

Frank Zappa

More Glands Of Destiny?