What's the Ugliest part of your body?
your nose
your mind
your toes
all of the above.

All your children are...
a plague upon your ignorance and the gray despair of your ugly life
poor, unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
poor, unfortunate victims of lies you believe
named after body parts, celestial bodies, famous monsters, or anything else deemed out of the ordinary.

If it can't happen here, where can it happen?
In France
Anywhere, anytime, for no reason what-so-ever
Cucamonga
San Ber'dino.

Your present motor vehicle is a...
Fillmore
Packard Goose
Zambonie
Dodge (it's a 54 with a smashed up door)

You've been invited by some close friends to a party. Later, you find out that the party is in a Disco. You decide to wear:
The Penguin in Bondage leather kit.
A Sear's poncho.
The complete Tony Manero's suit in Saturday Night Fever.
Python boots and a Jazz Discharge Party Hat.

Were you into "Lonely Person Devices", which would be your favorite?
The Tower of Power.
A Chrome Plated Megaphone.
A sexually aroused gas mask.
An enema, performed in Illinois.

The animal droppings on your lawn (or outside your door for city-dwellers) were most likely caused by:
a camel
a modified dog
a poodle
a bird named Reynolds

Your sense of tranquility is most easily disturbed by:
blue light
brohmhidrosis
dog breath
televangelists

What phrase best describes your High School years?
Heavy metal fuzz tone a-go-go.
Fuck you if you don't like my hat!
Confrontations with authority.
Everyone should get the blow job.

If you could be any "super hero", it would be
Studebaker Hoch
Metal Man
Superman
Wonder Woman