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This whole monstruousity was originally conveived February through March 2001 by the members of The Big Note - a Frank Zappa YahooGroup. After an arduous gestation period, this site was birthed on April 11 2001. True to the essence of collaborative effort, these people are held responsible.

All content:
© TheBigNote 2001-2004
unless specified otherwise.
Speed will turn you into your parents.


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The Original ZappaMeter Test

Find out just how much Frank Zappa has permeated your body and soul!

Your name:

What's the Ugliest part of your body?
your nose
your mind
your toes
all of the above.

All your children are...
a plague upon your ignorance and the gray despair of your ugly life
poor, unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
poor, unfortunate victims of lies you believe
named after body parts, celestial bodies, famous monsters, or anything else deemed out of the ordinary.

If it can't happen here, where can it happen?
In France
Anywhere, anytime, for no reason what-so-ever
San Ber'dino.

Your present motor vehicle is a...
Packard Goose
Dodge (it's a 54 with a smashed up door)

You've been invited by some close friends to a party. Later, you find out that the party is in a Disco. You decide to wear:
The Penguin in Bondage leather kit.
A Sear's poncho.
The complete Tony Manero's suit in Saturday Night Fever.
Python boots and a Jazz Discharge Party Hat.

Were you into "Lonely Person Devices", which would be your favorite?
The Tower of Power.
A Chrome Plated Megaphone.
A sexually aroused gas mask.
An enema, performed in Illinois.

The animal droppings on your lawn (or outside your door for city-dwellers) were most likely caused by:
a camel
a modified dog
a poodle
a bird named Reynolds

Your sense of tranquility is most easily disturbed by:
blue light
dog breath

What phrase best describes your High School years?
Heavy metal fuzz tone a-go-go.
Fuck you if you don't like my hat!
Confrontations with authority.
Everyone should get the blow job.

If you could be any "super hero", it would be
Studebaker Hoch
Metal Man
Wonder Woman


Frank Zappa

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