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This whole monstruousity was originally conveived February through March 2001 by the members of The Big Note - a Frank Zappa YahooGroup. After an arduous gestation period, this site was birthed on April 11 2001. True to the essence of collaborative effort, these people are held responsible.

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© TheBigNote 2001-2004
unless specified otherwise.
Speed will turn you into your parents.


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For Unto Us A Site Is Born

I just came to realize: what this group needs is a decent, wholesome URL; a place where all this creativity can be centered and stored.
I'd be willing to open up a BigNote website and maintain it even! How do you guys 'n gals feel about this? Think a TBN-site would be worthwhile? (It would be sort of a cozy mini AFFZ-omnibus thingy)

Sounds good to me, I can share any of my artifacts including copy of my FZ autograph on The Real FZ book.

A TBN website? Oh, but to gaze upon the splendor of our collected portraits and graphics without the endless click-wait, click-wait, click-wait of individual access! For that I can guarantee you that you will be the first recipient of the fabled JHPSA! After that your name may be yellow, but never mud. Tell me more...

Wait! Don't sign it! Give me time to think. Just hold it a second son because that's magic ink!

Click-wait, click-wait? Such is my predicament as we speak!
We need a central click-waiting place for TBN... such is my conviction.
Bonus files would be: an index of Lumpy Gravy's, an index of TBN-graphics, and perhaps even an intermediate messageboard!
(I'm getting my braces done you know)

Sounds like a wonderful idea to me... I would be glad to donate my meager web and graphics abilities to any such effort... Let me know
(I'm trying to rinse it off)

I'd like to mention at this juncture, that "TBN" sounds like a pseudo-praying-for-dollars, God-trafficking, social-security-check-sucking, Moral Majority-supporting religioumus organization and college (that's what I thought it was the very first time I saw name initialized that way) and it would be mega coolio if we had a website called simply (or - and once in a while lured a few sublimely innocent seekers of the proper path into our lair of depravity and free expression. So, to the idea of whipping out a website for the group, I can only say, "What took so long?" And if you need help with graphical type nonsense, or any other nonsense, let me know Yellowmud, and I'll see if I can't cook something up...
Yours in faith and all things musical,

Damn, what a flurry of e-activity today! I haven't even had the chance to check out Sharleena's file! I'd like to address a couple of things in one post, rather than try to make sense answering numerous posts (which, as we all know, can make one post-al; eh, DRagonfly?).
The first consideration is the writing down of TBN's unwritten rules. It certainly seems to me that doing so defeats the purpose! I guess if everyone felt it beneficial, they could be posted in the files section for reference. But, Poodle, your job as TBN's Central Scrutinizer is to enforce all the laws that haven't been written yet. Once we write them down, what will your job be? (other than lying around and licking your genitals, and, while that is admittedly cute [thanks for the photos, by the way], that's not what we pay you all those dried up dog biscuits to do) Your planned obsolescence isn't due for several years. No, TBN's unwritten rules need to stay unwritten. The less we discuss them, the better. Which leads me to my first point. The “dactyl” poetry posts were really cool - and they managed to stay on topic, no small feat. But I'm a bit confused. I wrote mine while lying in the lawn; does that mean I've written a terra-dactyl? Maybe effzee could clear that one up for me...
My second concern is not really a concern, but rather a commendation. I have never experienced a "newbie" that has jumped into the fray as rapidly or as willingly as Sharleena. Guys, we are in the presence of greatness and I damn well hope you realize it! In fact, one of the things that caught my attention most today was Yellowmud's comment regarding the starting of a TBN webpage: "A place where all this creativity can be centered." I could not agree more. There is more talent in this group that can be contained by the eGroup site.
Which leads me to my second point: what happens to all the creativity that's gone before? I know a webpage will allow us to store almost anything and I know the intention is to keep the good stuff that's gone before. I guess my concern is who will do all of this? Yellowmud's offer to webmaster the proposed site is indeed gracious - considering how much work he has to put in to the "Barry" site to keep it young and monde. And will this site negatively affect his site? I don't want to see the Barry site become a redundancy, or find us fighting over who's site gets to post what stuff.
Am I making sense? I'm not a nervous Nellie, but every time the group has made a change in venue, something has gotten lost - well, not lost, but certainly forgotten... Don't get me wrong; I think a webpage is a fantastic idea. And if we share the workload, it might be very manageable. But we should try to have an idea of who will do what before we create the site; no?
I would think that the site should be sectioned into departments, with a department manager in charge of each. Yellowmud would direct the input from the department managers. (I'm sort of rambling here, I know, but I don't think this is something we want to enter into without forethought - not if we want to be proud of it).
Some possible departments include: soundbites (BHJ is my candidate here), graphix (I'll let y'all fight over this one; we have far too many experienced graphic artists on board), news/events (someone would have to surf the net, and other FZ sites, to keep this current), zappology (the zTrivia, secret quiz, mother of all quizzes, etc. would be here {I humbly submit my application}), links (this is a full time job in itself); there's more.
Okay, I've blabbered on long enough. I may be taking this all too seriously. I just don't want to "rock the boat" unless we're all committed to creating something better than what we got - and what we got ain't bad, my friends.

Wow! I went to sleep too early to have witnessed this hurricane of e-activity!
As for the site, which apparently has thumbs up by most members, I appreciate your concerns Sofa. Will it have a negative effect on Barry? Don't think so. Barry's a typical FZ-tribute with all the stuff that goes with it (discog., interviews, image galleries, personal remarks that nobody gives a crap about :-)) The TBN-site shouldn't pursue that goal IMO. Then there's the question whether I'll have enough time to maintain it all. Answer: No! But, I happen to know that we have several excellent webmeisters/graphic artists/writers here and so the work could be distributed, as SOFA suggested.
Do we need a dot com? Dot com's cost money... How are we going to pay for this? Of course, it would be very sexy to have the Moral Christian Majority stumble on
Who'll do what?
Can all members please post what they're good at, so we can have an overview?
Safe to say BHJ is up for the MP3-librarian's job, SOFA as the zTrivia® Quizmeister... How about the rest of you guys?
Who can do some mean html? There's a site that offers 20MB free, no ads, own cgi-bin and php-scripting possibilities (which would mean we can for instance set up our own trivia quizzes). It's at
It works with one login and password, which we can distribute amongst the members of the group, Check it out.

I graciously accept the job of Audiophile Engineer for the site.

I used to do graphics and 3D animation for television, and so have a good working familiarity with Adobe Photoshop, Fractal Painter, Ulead Photoimpact and Lightwave. I have copies of all but Lightwave. I have dabbled in Topaz. I have absolutely no familiarity with html, but I do play and write for the piano and play a pretty fair blues harp. Poodle

As far as web goodies, I have another idea. I know there are several musicians in the group. Perhaps there could be a section for those of us who dabble in the tunes (or dibble if you like, but never piddle) to share their works with other members? I think we'll all love it, it's way of life...

Good idea!
So what've we got so far:
- a Lumpy Gravy section
- an MP3 section
- a graphical art section
- a section where members of the group get to expose their own musical works
- a playground for Sofa - wouldn't it be great to have a weekly/monthly column by The Maroon One?
I thought it'd be nice to have a form where potential applicants (or supplicants, or succulents, if you so desire) could send their LG's.
Any other ideas for features on the site?

We can go that idea one better (and emulate our brethren at AFFZ) by creating a CD of our stuff. Say the musicians amongst us submit 1 or 5 of their best tunes (original or covers, it doesn't matter) to the "Musibrarium" - how's that for a page title, BHJ? - and the membership votes on which songs they'd like to fetishise forever (Oh yeah, getting people to vote may be problematic, but I'm an optometrist). Once we have enough stuff for 70 minutes of bliss, we burn the CD, create some nifty, tuff, & bitchin' artwork for the cover, and violin!
We could even call the CD "Survivors", and vote songs off the island - or might that be too commercial?
Ooooh this is fun!

I'd go one further on that, and place webcams in every member's home. Members who then want to inspect the toilet webcam of any other given member will have to pay extra; this will go into the TBN-fund and thus procure us with a lot of cash, such is my estimate.

The toilet-cam shots could also be sent to everyone involuntarily (much like our present message system), and members would have to pay even more to NOT see some of the other members. My video exclusion alone would easily finance the emollients required to turn all of our applicants into supplicants, and thus appease any canal distress GoD may experience...
We'll need a treasurer.

So, what've we have come up with thus far: - a Lumpy Gravy Page; an archive of successful (or non-successful) LG's, Jottings of any sort (effzee's poetry, for example, or some of GoD's articles), and critical Essays/reviews of FZ's work and/or influence (Poodle had a thing going with Zappa Stories at one time; we could resurrect that).
- an MP3 page; the "Musibrarium" would have a section for FZ oddities, one for related stuff (like Palermo or former sidemen), and one for member contributions.
- a Graphic Arts page; this page would feature the efforts of our designing members (of course, an FZ theme would be encouraged, but not demanded).
- a "Useless Knowledge" page; a playground for Sofa (or anyone) to post trivial tidbits. The format could be expanded beyond the FZ realm. Mary's "Handy Tips" could be a feature. There's certainly plenty of Useless Knowledge to go around.
- a Links page; this would feature the "off-group" efforts of our members, or suit their personal interests/needs: i.e. paperdragon studios, or highcastle books, etc.
Any other ideas?

I like to think I'm pretty handy at the ol' g'tar actually. But then I lack in actually having a band anymore and, more importantly, having the tech-knowledge-y to actually "send" people my fabulous air sculptures. Oh well... I'd love to hear some others'.
Is this big note website gonna happen or what? I'm sorry to say that I possess none of the net skills required to actually help in its formation. I'll just sit here and wait like the mindless consumer that I always knew myself to be.
Mr. Pugh

Hi, all!
Welcome aboard, Uncle Herman! I used to be a newbie till you came, but I overcame with therapy this weekend... Be strong...
Ok, my abilities for that hypothetical website are: any kind of cheepnis on Photoshop, QuarkXPress user (not too useful on the web, though), horrible English (as a Spanish speaker), but I can make delicious muffins (very useful in the web!).
Referring to the last poll, I thought of a banana as a nutritional supplement, although STEVIE doesn't eat it in the song... I take one every time I can. You should also.
Take a banana every time you can!
(An unwritten suggestion)

Frank Zappa

More Amusing Musings?